First Comes Love, Then Comes...

She blankly stares with her empty eyes.
She grips tightly to what is left of her broken life.
The only things left are the hurt feelings,
And her stomach feeling as if she's jumped off a ten story building.
The hot air still seems to hit her with nothing but cold air.
Figures...because nothing in her world seems to be fair.
She looks up at the stars, the clouds, and the skies,
Wishing to be one or the other, for she herself has already died.
Her heart shattered, spirit is lonely, and body is bruised.
Her mind is scarred, she's ashamed of her life. Her life's that been screwed.
Self injuries, Alcohol and drug abuse...
Free her wounded soul while nobody else has a clue.
Dark shadows surround her, she searches for the light.
She searches for love and all the things that are right.
Find her. Help her. Destroy her curse.
Know her. Guide her. Before it gets worse.

.................................Or just love her first.

Camouflaged Disaster

I've loved you too hard, Shame on my heart,
More than difficult to now cover the scars.

Justice has never done anyone any good,
But my reasoning behind things will always be misunderstood.

I thought your love would take me higher, but it has only haunted me
I continue to inform myself it was just never meant to be.

The tears never dry, My eyes constantly cry
When will my foolish soul learn to say goodbye.

Love is a disguise for it's slow churning agony.
It caught the eye of my lonely heart fighting out of misery.

Shame on my heart, I've loved you too hard,
I wish I could go back and never even start.

Being. Freely. In Love.

Well, I've fallen. I'm a sucker. For Love. In Love. And it feels AMAZING.

EVEN THOUGH....sometimes..

I doubt. I worry. I panic. I'm jealous. I'm scared. I'm insecure. I'm discouraged. I'm bothered. I'm apprehensive. I'm distressed. I'm fretful...I'm human.
But he takes my hand and temporarily erases the negativity as he's in my presence and fills my mind, heart, and soul with a profound, tender, yet intense feeling. This feeling is LOVE. PURE LOVE. Forgetting I had doubts. Forgetting I worried if he loved me back. Forgetting that I panicked I'd never see him again. Forgetting the jealousy of the meaningless creatures around....
I forgot I was scared to even love again. I forgot about all my insecurities. I forgot I was discouraged and again had hope. I was no longer bothered by my feelings and wanted to be bothered. I was no longer apprehensive but anxious for our next move. My distress and fret left and I began to feel free. I was no longer a human being. <--- To be stopped. I was a human being... <--- to keep being. I was being in love. Being his love. Being because he made me be. He made me free.

I LOVE you, Julian Dixon.


<3 Rae

Cee Lo Green - FUCK YOU

Kate Nash - Nicest Thing (Animation)

i.love.this.song.

Moment 4 Life? Not Quite

My moments for life are usually in my dreams...

That's where 'I fly with the stars in the skies and no longer try to survive.' Meanwhile, every moment I'm awake, I'm still usually stuck dreaming. So in reality, my mind never seems to be in tune with what's currently occurring in my life. I'm either daydreaming, wishing, or dreaming,...wondering when will I rise. When will my heart build up a passion to LIVE. When will my soul want to be ALIVE. I want to have a moment for life, then take a moment and celebrate my moment for life. I'd throw my hands to the sky and run.[For my life]. And I'd do it with my eyes closed just to prove I beat my dreams. But in the meantime, I'll just wait...for the time I begin to rise...for the time my moment of life arrives...
I'll just sit here and wait unalive

Is It So Much To Ask?

Is it so much to ask...
For you to love me like I love you
Is it so much to ask...
To not play me as a fool
Is it so much to ask...
You to kiss me under the moonlight
Is it so much to ask...
Me is everything alright and hold me through the night
Is it so much to ask...
For you to listen to my dreams
Is it so much to ask...
To occasionally treat me like a Queen

I don't ask for much...
I just want your love.