Free Time!

I looked in the mirror and saw disgust,
I looked behind me constantly.
I looked down and never saw up,
I struggled to think clearly.

I look in the mirror, I am free,
I will never look behind.
My head is high, the world no longer has me beat,
And time has cleared my mind.

The Road Goes On Forever, but the Party Never Ends.

So I invited the pistols over to my boys' place, and yes, we got fuuuucckkedd uuuppp, had a ball, and will do it all over again very soon.
Just because that's how we roll.
LOVE our lives. If we did nothing wrong, then we'd never do anything ;)

















I live for the nights I can't remember with the people I'll never forget.

















Time is never wasted when youre wasted all the time.

















We may be bad, but we're perfectly good at it.

















If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.
And we say, "FUCK the PO-lice!"

(̅_̅_̅_̅(̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅̅_̅()ڪے


Cruisin' downtown with maya (a new pretty pistol) and Tina baby trying to find wtf to do for the night. Somebody hits me up on twitter and says him and his boy are having a get together. Okay, that's an option...
My boy Marcus aka LongDickHer hits me up saying "come thru, bottles on deck."
That's not even an option, that's a HELL YES.
Get to LongDickHer's place (or whoever's place it was) and some dude yells "Twinkletoez!" (that's my name on Facebook). I give him the blank stare and say "who are you?" He says "You follow me on twitter!"
@ImScrewedup <--- (Follow him. he's the coolest)
I say "Ohhhhh!! BUCKNASTY!?"...
yep, it was him.
I say aloud, "Wait, u told me about a get together today at ur boys place. LongDickHer must be your boy. And this must be the get together you were talking about."
About 20 minutes after that, Stephanie and Jasmine show up and from then on, we had a goooooodd assss night. Mad I still don't even know BuckNasty's real name tho. SMFH.

Dogs never bite me. Just humans.

I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it.
So please treat me like a woman.
I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
You already showed me you can't handle me at my worst, and now that I'm at my best, you at least want to be friends. I approach you as a friend and you approach me like a dog. Fuck you, you can't handle me at my best either.

I HATE you for treating me less than I really am.

I may have been selfish, but was only selfish for you. I was only impatient waiting for you. I was only insecure because you only noticed my flaws.

I'm happy now. I love my myself. I love my life. I don't care about what you or others think. I smile even when things don't go my way. Your harsh words don't bother me anymore. My bad memories are finally starting to fade away. I'm mad I used to think I needed you...because now I see,
It was you that needed me.

So go ahead and be the dog that I will never fuck with again, and BITE ME.



P.S
I will never let anyone take advantage of my kindness again. I am no longer afraid to stand up for myself. I WILL tell you you're wrong if you're wrong. I will never apologize for something that wasn't even wrong. I will not force myself to care about you anymore. I really do NOT like you. (so stop begging). I will no longer try to help you. I will no longer let you depend on me for your happiness. I will no longer "shutup and let you speak." I will no longer let you get away with your bullshit again....because I'M the one who will walk away now. For good. I can't be your friend, because you STILL treat me the same.

fuck you, your thoughts, and your life.
Thanks.

Red Roses' and Bleeding Hearts

I have plenty of guy friends but I dont really "like" a lot of boys, mainly because I feel that they all play games and because of the fact that I have guy friends I hear how they talk about girls; while it can be funny its also pretty pitiful how hard these girls go for someone that doesnt even like them(lol if they only knew what I knew). Also I hate seeing miserable girls crying all the time because of some stupid shit a boy did or didnt do for her. So personally I just find it easier to not be bothered with the bullshit. Plus I am determined to enjoy my life while I still can, I'll be damned if I'm going to spend my youth crying, and being sad over a guy that I'm not even going to know in a few years....

But of course there is an exception to every rule, and he is my exception. The things he can make me do are shameful and he seems to make me feel like I can do anything. Whenever I'm with him I never want it to end but the time seems to fly by. Its crazy that I wake up thinking about him and fall asleep wanting him. I find it totally insane that when I'm not with him I spend my time wondering if he is thinking about me. Yet unless he reads this blog, he will never know that he makes me melt every time he looks at me; nor will he know that his voice makes me blush and his touch makes me completely submissive.

Why???

Because while it seems to be a picture perfect situation it can quickly turn into something horrific. I will never fully be able to trust him with my emotions because I will always be scared of what he might do with them. I'm terrified that as soon as I let go, thinking that he is doing the same, some other bitch is going to come out of the air talking about "he is hers". Everyone that knows me knows I define the "I dont give a fuck" attitude, but if that were to happen in more than sure that I would be heartbroken. Another thing is that he can tell me all he wants that he likes me the same and try as hard as he wants, but with all the fucked up shit that I have seen guys do to the girls that I love I just cant bring myself to believe it.

So I have committed the ultimate fuck up!!!

But fuck it I'm not going to tell him!!