Love for Nothing

So full of emotions, my heart runs wild
I love your touch, I love your smile..
I try to make every moment spent with you worthwhile.

Wishing you felt the same
Wishing this wasn't such a tough game.
Wishing I could hate you, but too bad you're not to blame.

No one can compare to the way you make me feel
Even though there are needs you just cant fulfill.
I sometimes escape reality, then pretend it's all real.

I walk with my head held high and my heart sunken low
Pain continuing to grow
But my smile continuing to glow.

I dream about you even when I'm awake
To have you, I'd do whatever it takes
I wish you'd see what I see, for love sake.

So here I stand, empty and lonely.
Waiting for something that might not even be..

-Rae Dean

Another old poem I wrote..that I never titled.

Another day, no more dollars
And to swallow the truth, is getting even harder.

Living hell on earth, full of pain, and left here to suffer
All the solutions in the world couldn't help me recover.

Growing up to die, dying to grow a failure
Trying to move forward, but there's always a barrier.

Judge me, hate me, kill me softly
Throw the names at me that they all have already called me.

You're wasting your time, wasted has been mine
Im twisted the wrong side up, as a six is to a nine.

Rain has poured on me, the storm is slowly chasing
I'm running past demons who are smiling and waving.

My life you don't know, I keep it on the low
My heart is what my sleeve continues to hold.

...........................................to be continued.

-Rae Dean

This Woman's Work

I Should Be Crying But I Just Can't Let It Show Baby,
I Should Be Hoping But I Can't Thinking,
Of All The Things We Should've Said That We Never Said,
All The Things We Should Have Done That We Never Did,
All The Things That You Wanted From Me,
All The Things That You Needed From Me,
All The Things We Should Have Given But I Didn't,
Oh Darling Make It Go Away Now,
Just Make It Go Away..


LOVE this song

GOONville

So I want to tell about my eventful day yesterday. After hearing my story, Stephanie felt I should blog about it..so I will.
Well, there's this guy. I wouldn't say he's a "bruh bruh"..but Stephanie disagrees. After hearing my story aloud though, I might have to disagree as well.
So..I got to the dude's grandmas house (where he stays)..Goon alert number one ---> there's a pitbull outside in a cage. So I go in, and the boy is gettin dressed and asks if I want to ride with him. (idk where we are going) but I say "sure."
Goon alert number two...

<----- this is wat we ride in. Not complaining tho, because I like nice ass cars.
Music so loud it's ringing my ear drums and I can feel the bass in my chest.

Goon alert number three ---> Where do we go?? We go to one of these.


yes. a pawn shop. a fucking pawn shop. To sell what??...one of these.

SMFH.

And of course we failed trying to sell it. We went to like 3 different pawn shops and nobody wanted his GRANDMOTHERS guitar. So, we went back to his place, I gave him a goodbye hug, and I left. The end.

MissBossLady

^^^^This was me trying to figure out how to use this freaking thing^^^^

So trying to figure out this thing was pretty intense.....lol

But i showed it who was boss with the help of my good friend "lodalicka" aka Rae :)

I am super excited that I am now a "blogger" kinda wish I didnt have to work in an hour so I could write what I am really thinking, which is a lot! Either way this is just a test blog so pay it no mind really but i love my fellow pistols and I am super excited!

Yippie-Yo, yippie yay

Congrats to the new pistol, JaszyD who i have no doubt will blow it up and bring a whole lot of something new to the blog. she's the shit so it was only natural we asked her....

oh yes and here's the only picture(thanx rae!) i have of halloween in my bad ass bunny costume. these two handsome brutes also doubled as my seat belt cause i couldn't find shit in the dark.




so i've been wondering what the fuck is going on with dudes. why are they these half girl half dude hybrids now. they have dicks which still pretty much rocks and they don't have boobs, which as a boob owner myself find a little strange considering their function. but they do have these petty little china doll arguments with all the gusto of bull testosterone. i mean, use the testosterone to throw a chick against the wall and have loud grunt-y sex with. instead they use it to display male bravado a.k.a "douchery" over little girl stuff. i like the way dudes used to be. chill motherfuckers that eat everything in sight and grab your ass and tell you they want to "get it in" before the game starts. I'm talking cowboy fuckers. no, Rae, it's not like that one. the quiet storm types. they sit and observe and speak in deep gravelly voices stripped down from too many Marlboro Reds. I want one of those. Just wrap his tight jeans, plaid wearing, big buckle rocking ass up in a bow and deliver him to my crib.




you memmmmber! or maybe this?

frienship

"Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life."

So, I'm just happy to say I've got all the friends I want and need. It may not be many, but it's just the way I like it :)

I'm also pretty damn excited about our newest Pretty Pistol, Jasmine!! Once she un-dummies herself and figures out how to work this cite, she soon will be blogging!
LMFAO. Oh I love her dearly. We actually...
-have not even been friends for long
-been thru some rough stages already
-are two completely different types of girls
and I STILL feel like we've been friends forever. Bitch, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!

And when I say completely different types of girls..I mean..she's from New York and I'm from the country.

THIS IS ME


THIS IS JASMINE


Honestly..I don't fuck with loud, obnoxious people like her. Who tend to yell and they don't even know it. BUT...Jasmine is real and this is why I "fuxx" with her.

I'm not one to have many girl friends..but Stephanie, Christina, Erika, and Jasmine are truly my ride or dies. (i've always wanted to use that)
so yay to Jasmine for joining the blog..now time to get Erika on this bitch and start doing some damage. (good damage, that is..)