Breakfast in bed/ love the way I eat....

Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind, don't assign me yours.
-Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

this quote should explain a lot..


so i'm listening to baby-makers cause it's nighty night or atleast it should be, but these have been in my gutter, a.k.a my mind's location...

He may at one point peed in a bitch face, but he can put out a relevant baby maker and you know it. Dude made yodeling sexy as fuck. fave line: "I got you soundin like you screamin' from a mountain peak". makes me want to stand on a hill and shout RIIIICCCOOOLLLLAAAA!!!!!!

oooh and you know i love some damn robin thicke, even though he is of poppa Seaver progeny. you know you caught Growing Pains.
MMMM... fave line: It's your body we'll go HARD if you want to/As hard as you want to, soft if you want to....
Yes, he said hard as you want to!!! play it on reloop if you don't believe me. but he also said soft. i like options. I think i'm in love.

then my beloved trey songz even tho i was looking at pleasure p to be the king of the baby makers of this generation.

Fave line: read post title. he aint' talkin 'bout no bacon and eggs. giggle giggle. and why does trey songz look sooooo delicious ever since he cut off them damn braids? either that or the fact he has a thing for ethiopian chix.... ewedeshalo, trey!!!!!!

For the old heads..


teena marie's part literally gives me chills 6:40-7:00 is out of this world!!!!. fave part: Love them and leave them/that's what i used to do use and abuse them/ then i laid eyes on you...
and somebody needs to make what rick james is wearing cool again cause i would like to don one ASAP.

Last but definitely not least....



DO NOT ACT LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW!!!!!! any song that can cause thugs to sing along can definitely make some babies. fave part: You tell me where to go and/Though I might leave to find it/ I'll never let your head hit the bed/ Without my hand to guide it.... AWWWWWWW.




I need a cuddle bunny NOW. the temperature is falling fast!

Pistols at Enso

we had a bunch of food we didn't understand. tina was poisoned, our waiter was a dick rockin' the mini modern fro. But the bathroom was dope.

If You're Happy and You Think You Know it, Shit Rainbows.

Since my last few blogs haven't been quite on the happy side lately, I've decided to post one that will make ME smile. Because I honestly don't give a fuck if it makes YOU smile or not. POW!
Anywho, today was most definitely a good day. Once my fellow pretty pistols got here anyway. We chatted, ate, and laughed at ourselves for crying over silly boys. WTF.
I believe it's time to let go and let God have His way. Obviously the guys we want are not for us. SIGH.. sux pretty badly, but oh well. I will pretend I'm over it and strut my stuff like I DONT GIVE A FUCK. (in Jasmine's goon voice).
I mean, really..we all are pretty girls and have GREAT personalities. There should be NO reason for a guy to turn us down, RIGHT?..eh, WRONG.
Maybe I should go down the list of everything wrong with me and try to fix these little glitches about myself. hmmmm...

1. I do belch alot and not even excuse myself
2. My nose gets a little oily at times
3. My toenail polish always seems to be chipped
4. I bite my fingernails like a crackhead who has lost her crack
5. I seem to be a goon magnet
6. I don't like wasting my gas..yes, YOU'RE a waste of gas
7. I'm currently on bum status (meaning no job, nor in school)
8. I'm slowly gaining weight even tho I'm deathly afraid of getting fat
9. I believe I have the mind of an obese person, because I could eat everything on my plate, finish what you didn't eat, and STILL be hungry. So if we ever go to dinner, bring lots of money.
10. I don't know how to cook or do laundry
11. I'm not a fighter. So if you need somebody to back you up at times, don't expect me to start taking out my earrings and pulling out my vaseline. You'll only catch dust in your face from me sprinting away as fast as I can.
12. I'm no good at cheering people up when they are down. So if you're grandma just died, please don't call me.
13. I give good advice, but never take my own
14. I forget things easily. Simple things at that.
15. Sometimes I forget to put on deodorant, but I don't smell or anything
16. I'm not too sure if I spelled deodorant right.
17. I ignore a shitload of text messages and still seem to be texting 24/7
18. I get along with guys better than I do girls
19. I trust no one
20. I'm extremely kind at times and people mistake that for flirting. or something.
21. I don't like doing what people tell me to do. I usually end up doing the opposite
22. I don't know how to tell people NO. Usually when they ask for my number.
23. Sometimes I think way too hard
24. I cry myself to sleep sometimes and don't even know what I'm crying about
25. I'm very independent, and past boyfriends have taken that as if I don't care. that's not the case.
26. I'm not dumb, but sometimes I don't get the simplest things
27. I can be clumsy
28. If I tell you I'm one place, I'm probably lying. Only because I don't like people checking up on me
29. I like freaks and weirdos
30. I have reached number 30, so I'm guna stop.

Okay, so maybe there are few more things wrong with me than I thought. Well, not everything I listed about myself is wrong. So, don't judge me. Like I've said numerous times, "Don't judge me, I'll just prove you wrong."

Eh, I'm getting kinda hungry even tho I just killed TWO biscuits from bojangles AND a chalupa from taco bell. Damn, I'm such a fatass. SO WHAT. I bet you have a pencil dick, but I still won't judge you. maybe.

So I've been listening to this song as I write. This song was the shit this past summer, and I still love it. It makes me think of my boo boo Josh :) I love that kid. So here's to you, Josh!! Who probably will never see this, so that shout out was pretty pointless.



But before I go, I want to let all know..my status will be happy and will stay happy. So don't ruin it.


Now watch me post some depressing shit tomorrow b/c some little fucker made me sad again. SMFH.

ANGEL of MINE

Persuaded by the lie of a Fairytale

recently on facebook i found a girl, or should i say women that brought me way back to my childhood (:go figure:) i was so HAPPY to see her because when i was a LITTLE girl she TOUCHED my heart in a way that nobody would ever be able to FORGET. and she wasn't BOASTFUL or PRIDEFUL about it which embedded it into my heart FOREVER.

as a young girl i WANTED to be just like her, her SPIRIT was CALMING and REASSURING, she GENUINELY CARED about the people that God had created, she WANTED to help them HELP themselves, she was totally and completely IN LOVE with God and i ENVIED the relationship she had with Him. just by her actions she made me want to be a better person and i will NEVER forget the day that her mother came to my grandmothers house and said that she had found her DREAM man and was MOVING to AFRICA to MARRY him and start a MINISTRY there. at that point i WANTED to be here. i wanted to get MARRIED at a young age and spend my WHOLE LIFE with a man that could also HELP me BUILD my RELATIONSHIP with GOD and at the same time HELP others to find and BUILD theirs. it me it SEEMED like a FAIRYTALE.

(i am going into all this DETAIL about her to set up something that is just mind blowing. and i am SORRY that i probably wont do it any JUSTICE but it sits heavy on my mind)

either way she was 19 at the time and MOVED to AFRICA to be with this man and she began a MINISTRY that grew and grew under the COVERING of GOD. her HUSBAND was the only BOYFRIEND she'd EVER had. none the less she found out that HE was having an AFFAIR with one of the females WITHIN their MINISTRY. i cant and don't want to begin to IMAGINE the PAIN that she is enduring.

her HUSBAND and AFRICA were her LIFE its all she knew, i want to say that it DEFINES her but i don't know how safe of a statement that is. either way her WHOLE world was FLIPPED, CRUMBLED, and STOLEN but the SELFISHNESS of one mans FLESH. and it leaves me asking myself WHY??

WHY bother DATING??

WHY bother looking for someone that makes you HAPPY??

WHY bother waisting your time SEARCHING for someone to spend your LIFE with??

WHY has God so STRONGLY put the DESIRE in my HEART when even the people that i thought were FAIRYTALE perfect are FALLING APART??

WHY bother with MARRIAGE??

Let's do the Time Warp

I'm about to divulge a little secret. the secret, dear pretty pistol audience, is this: girls mature at a disarmingly faster pace than our male counterparts. we realize much faster that you cannot eat paste and that wrestling each other onto the ground is homoerotic no matter how many manly grunts you let out. when, i wonder, do they actually catch up? two lovely ladies i actually find to be the shit and not like usual girls, are going through the SAME shit i'm sure countless numbers of you are going through right now. older dudes that function at the same maturity level as dudes their own age. is it true that the economy has not only shrunk men's pockets but also the relationship lobes in their brains. i mean, how long is the maturity lapse? four years? two? ten? i mean this bullshit right here, might actually make some damn sense

these two girls are laid back, funny, aren't bug-a-boo naggers and are gorgeous pieces of real estate yet are plagued by grown ass men pulling little boy shiz. i honestly blame this mu'fucka right here.

seriously ray j? your old ass kind of needs to not only tied down but sitting on a porch in georgia with your ball n chain sippin' ice tea and waiting for your children and grandchildren to visit. does anybody else think its a damn shame he's singing this song with a bunch of little chaps? but from what i saw on this debacle, i doubt if he's even functioning at twiddle dee and twiddle dum's maturity level.yes, For the Love of Ray J which by the way started Nov. 2 Mondays @ 9 on VH1. i wonder how many of the ladies ever heard of the New Boyz....

speaking of trashy reality shows how many of you besides me, my older sister, and my bitch rae, bout to watch the new season of the Bad Girls Club on Oxygen? Don't worry, i won't tell no body. the bitches look scandalous and this one right here, Portia? look like she's bout to be my new favorite; she look like she'll cut a bitch and then take her weave. plus they describe her as sugar and spice which i take as them downplaying her so we can be surprised when she the HBIC.

the 4th season debuts Dec. 1 at 10. i'm salivating.

do you think that she is prettier than me??

i have no good intro for this i have written and rewritten the first sentence 100+ times but here is goes.

today i was with my favorite person in the world just talking about nonsense. i went to see her actually just to cheer myself up for the very interesting few days that i've had and while it worked it made me REALIZED a lot of things about myself.

i think that me and my favorite are PRETTY girls, and also have EXCELLENT personalities. if u asked me to rate us on a scale i mean i think we would get and 8 or a 9 but DESPITE what i think about us or what we think about each other we are - and most likely will always be- INSECURE.

for instance i am interested in this boy (i guess he's more of a man seeing as he is my age) and no matter how much i like him or how good for me i think that he really is i will NEVER pursue him. and i can say that it is because i don't want a BOYFRIEND and/or i already know the OUTCOME but the at the end of the day it is SOLELY because i am INSECURE far more than i would like to admit. i refuse tell him in spite of my desire because

1. i dont want to be REJECTED

2. what if he just DOESN'T like my PERSONALITY

3. there are a BILLION other girls that are PRETTIER than me and he can easily have them

4. what if he has an EX that he is still IN LOVE with and i CANT live up to her legacy

5. what if he is TALKING to another girl at the same time and CHOSES her?

(and i mean why wouldnt he chose her im sure she PRETTY too, and has an AWESOME personality, and they probably get along a lot BETTER. she probably DOESN'T COMPLAIN half as much as i do, she might even DRESS better, and have MORE to talk about than i do)

the thing that BOTHERS me the most is that right at this very moment he is probably SLEEPING not giving 2shits about the situation and i am here blogging about it STRESSING over it! it bothers me that no matter how PRETTY i think i am it will ALWAYS boil down to what HE thinks of ME....

it is never THEM that are in the WRONG it is always me. i am constantly ANALYZING myself wondering what did i do WRONG, what did i SAY that he didn't like, what was i WEARING that wasn't flattering,

never maybe he is just an ASSHOLE....