so listen to this bullshit... tina mistakenly snatched up the Rihanna Rated R cd and i gave it a little listen. Now, i like music. any music. any genre. as long as the lyrics are insightful and the melody and instrumentation are good; then i'm hooked. Now I personally think Rihanna is nothing but a gimmick, pushing out dated music that lacks artisanship and ultimately longevity. All of her songs have ridden on musical trends and the lyrics are mediocre with a serio lack of substance, until.... i heard this little gem.
I was like "mmmeeeeerrrr??!!!" nice slow rhythmic beating, easy vocals minus all her nasally over singing. the only thing that was a miss was Will.I.Am, but between you and me i think dude is better behind the scenes if you catch my draft. stay behind the soundboard, buddy. the lyrics? well, she, or the well paid team behind her, could definitely step it up a notch, but hey... the rest was pretty good for a rihanna joint.
secondly, this song.. cause well yes, i do enjoy some substance-less songs, i mean you see my ass tearing through fast food's empty ass calories like it's nothing.
because let's be serious, i have a pension for sleazy songs about getting it in. I like it... who really doesn't. i like that she's all tonight i'm gonna let you tear it the fuck up, because i'm so tired of always having to set the mood right. she's all breathy and tells him he can be the captain and shiz... cause personally i do tend to take charge, but i like when a dude's all aggressive and pulls your hair and leaves bruises from gripping too tight.... heheheh sorry.
Final concensus:
Rihanna is still pretty dated and she will eventually disappear to the land where the Spice Girls, LFO, and Kris Kross reside; but for now I will listen to these songs and enjoy them. Maybe even in the same nostalgic way I sing "If you wanna be my lover/ You gotta get with my friends...." wasn't every black girl, Scary Spice???
Monday, December 28, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
She's as Gentle as a Lion
Dear God,
Im writing you this letter to ask if you remember a girl that you created back in '89. You gave her a caring spirit that allowed her to empathize with your people, she was forgiving because You helped her to forget and look past peoples wrongs to see their hurt. Her presence was inviting and it made people love to be around her. She was gentle and humble. Her eyes glistened to calmed chaos, and her touch soothed pain. You instilled in her a bold and admirable faith that was not easily shaken and You loved her and she was so in love with You. It was a kind of love that was pure and so true, a love that no one would ever understand and everyone would envy. You both spent hours together talking, praying, dancing.I remember that she was special to You, You gave her everything that a little girl would ever dream of asking for and with a sensitive heart she willingly submitted her life to You, Your son lived in her and she under Him and they were happy. ~MadlyInlove~
I ask about her because some years ago I kidnapped her. She was so beautiful that I just couldnt resist. She captivated so many people by her ability to do everything. I said it would only be for a little while but I never wanted to let her go; before long I had destroyed her. I hid from you because I knew how much she meant to You and i knew that You would be angry. The caring spirit that you instilled in her I quickly altered to be that of a spiteful one. The tears that You gave her to cry out for Your people I traded them by using hurtful word and actions to make others cry endless nights. I dominated her gentleness and overpowered her humility. She's unmanageable, conceded, and vicious now. Sometimes I cant control her. Your precious little girl has been transformed into a monster! The bold faith instilled in her that was suppose to be unbreakable.... I broke it, I picked it apart and questioned it until I completely confused her. The love that she once had for You, I sold it to worldy material things. The time that she spent with You I made her spend with someone that could only please her earthly lusts.Ive taken her and destroyed everything You placed inside of her and just like everyone else that has been apart of her life, I dont want her anymore. She is no longer beautiful to me, she no longer holds any fascination to me, or those around her. She is used and old, yesterdays garbage. But I bring her back to You not only because I dont want her but primarily because I know that You are the only one that can fix her. You knew her when she was young, You knew her before I stained her innocents with perverse pleasures, and only You can restore her. <3>
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
The Way I See It
1. So, it's okay for her to TALK about gettin it in, but it's not okay to ACTUALLY get it in.
2. It's okay for HIM to smash the homegirls, but it's not okay for HER to smash the homies.
3. It's okay for HIM to post pictures with no shirt and showing his V-cut, but SHE can't post a picture in her bra.
4. It's okay for HER to post practically nude pictures, begging for attention, and getting no action because she's automatically labeled as "easy", but SHE who keeps shit to herself, dresses appropriately, and just wants to smash because she has needs just like guys isn't okay.
Why have these things become such a big deal??
Sex is a beautiful thing and in my eyes, it's OK if you have a lot of it. Shit, it's natural.
If SHE wanted to just smash, so be it. Be thankful you got it in and don't have to worry about a clingy bitch trying to become wifey material now that you guys got it in. At least she admitted she just wanted to smash. You're the dude, remember?? Let's try not to be so heartbroken over it.
And whyyyy do boys continue to pick at these girls/hoes/sluts/whatever you want to call them, KNOWING it's the bitch you AND your homeboy have already smashed in the past. And the worst part about it, you both knew. Don't be mad at the girl, be mad at eachother!
Guy #1 sucked. So she moved on to Guy #2. She wasn't trying to be your friend anyway. She could honestly care less.
But let's switch this up and say the dude smashed girl #1, dropped her ass, and moved on to girl #2. AYEEE...you're guna go dap up your homie up and feel accomplished, right? SMFH.
And girls, be real. Don't say you just want to smash, then get your feelings hurt when the guy wants to have nothing to do with you anymore. You should have kept your panties on and legs closed for all of that.
Seems like everything I blog about, goes back to the "Why I Should Have Just Been Born a Dude" post. I don't know, maybe I'm the only one who feels this way?? I'm glad I don't give a shit though and could care less what you say and think.
But even if you did talk your shit or try to judge me, I'd just prove you wrong. I probably have more self respect than you ever will. It's something I have gained in the past few years though. I will admit, at some points in my life, I did lose my self respect. I have my reasons why I thought my life was at end and why I felt completely worthless. I just choose not to put my shit on blast.
And GIRLS...PLEASE
Stop walking around pretending to be gay. That shit did not happen over night. Nicki Minaj should NOT be your role model.
Stop aborting your babies and telling everybody why your depressed. Did you do it for attention?? Did you purposely not practice safe sex??
Stop sending nude pic messages.
Stop going to the club, dancing on bars, knowing people can see up ur dress/skirt.
Stop getting in relationships and letting your boyfriend or baby daddy treat you any kind of way..then be ready to fight a bitch over him. Let that bitch have his ass so he can treat her just as bad.
Stop getting drunk and "blaming it on the alcohol". (you know what I'm talking about)
Stop taking "shawty you got a phat ass" as a compliment.
Stop showing your goodies on tinychat.
I don't mean to be a bitch. This is why I have few girl friends. This is why I thinks boys are fake and don't take them seriously. We all view things differently....
and This is the way I see it.
2. It's okay for HIM to smash the homegirls, but it's not okay for HER to smash the homies.
3. It's okay for HIM to post pictures with no shirt and showing his V-cut, but SHE can't post a picture in her bra.
4. It's okay for HER to post practically nude pictures, begging for attention, and getting no action because she's automatically labeled as "easy", but SHE who keeps shit to herself, dresses appropriately, and just wants to smash because she has needs just like guys isn't okay.
Why have these things become such a big deal??
Sex is a beautiful thing and in my eyes, it's OK if you have a lot of it. Shit, it's natural.
If SHE wanted to just smash, so be it. Be thankful you got it in and don't have to worry about a clingy bitch trying to become wifey material now that you guys got it in. At least she admitted she just wanted to smash. You're the dude, remember?? Let's try not to be so heartbroken over it.
And whyyyy do boys continue to pick at these girls/hoes/sluts/whatever you want to call them, KNOWING it's the bitch you AND your homeboy have already smashed in the past. And the worst part about it, you both knew. Don't be mad at the girl, be mad at eachother!
Guy #1 sucked. So she moved on to Guy #2. She wasn't trying to be your friend anyway. She could honestly care less.
But let's switch this up and say the dude smashed girl #1, dropped her ass, and moved on to girl #2. AYEEE...you're guna go dap up your homie up and feel accomplished, right? SMFH.
And girls, be real. Don't say you just want to smash, then get your feelings hurt when the guy wants to have nothing to do with you anymore. You should have kept your panties on and legs closed for all of that.
Seems like everything I blog about, goes back to the "Why I Should Have Just Been Born a Dude" post. I don't know, maybe I'm the only one who feels this way?? I'm glad I don't give a shit though and could care less what you say and think.
But even if you did talk your shit or try to judge me, I'd just prove you wrong. I probably have more self respect than you ever will. It's something I have gained in the past few years though. I will admit, at some points in my life, I did lose my self respect. I have my reasons why I thought my life was at end and why I felt completely worthless. I just choose not to put my shit on blast.
And GIRLS...PLEASE
Stop walking around pretending to be gay. That shit did not happen over night. Nicki Minaj should NOT be your role model.
Stop aborting your babies and telling everybody why your depressed. Did you do it for attention?? Did you purposely not practice safe sex??
Stop sending nude pic messages.
Stop going to the club, dancing on bars, knowing people can see up ur dress/skirt.
Stop getting in relationships and letting your boyfriend or baby daddy treat you any kind of way..then be ready to fight a bitch over him. Let that bitch have his ass so he can treat her just as bad.
Stop getting drunk and "blaming it on the alcohol". (you know what I'm talking about)
Stop taking "shawty you got a phat ass" as a compliment.
Stop showing your goodies on tinychat.
I don't mean to be a bitch. This is why I have few girl friends. This is why I thinks boys are fake and don't take them seriously. We all view things differently....
and This is the way I see it.
Monday, December 14, 2009
what does that have to do with the price of tea in china?
so there is pink in my hair and its not a lot it is enough to be noticed but not enough to look unprofessional. Question:
Because i changed the color of my hair to something that is uncommon does that make me irresponsible??
i dont feel like it does. i still got up this morning and went to work. i plan on going back to school when it starts to work towards my major. i still dont go out every night all night and to off the wall shit. i still respect my parents. i still spend time with my family. All my bills get paid on time. i have still never been arrested, pregnant, or gay.
because of these few reasons i dont feel that me changing the color of my hair has an impact on my daily responsibilities.
hasn't he had enough
YES we all know chris brown beat the hell outta rihanna but damn are we gonna continue to hate him even when that nigga is putting out good shit. i happened to stumble over this golden video of chris brown for his new single 'crawl'. and needless to say that nigga was DANCING.
i mean he was channeling the late Michael Jackson throughout his whole dance sequence. and how the FUCK is he doing that dance at 3:09, i had to look at that on repeat it was amazing. how could we possibly let this talent go. what the fuck does he have to do. its okay boo boo i still believe in you. even though you pulled an ike turner on riri...
that picture still makes me cringe. damn did you have to do her like that!!! it looked like he used both his fists. but i bet that is the regret of his life cause his career is def over. sry chris guess they don't see your talent like i do
i mean he was channeling the late Michael Jackson throughout his whole dance sequence. and how the FUCK is he doing that dance at 3:09, i had to look at that on repeat it was amazing. how could we possibly let this talent go. what the fuck does he have to do. its okay boo boo i still believe in you. even though you pulled an ike turner on riri...
that picture still makes me cringe. damn did you have to do her like that!!! it looked like he used both his fists. but i bet that is the regret of his life cause his career is def over. sry chris guess they don't see your talent like i do
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
why t-pain is in love with a stripper
if i were a stripper i would be the kind in a biker bar with cigarette smoke and red walls and black tables with red lamps. I would wear black leather.... i'd smoke Marlboro Reds and speak in a tough no- nonsense drawl and the men would all know me and come just to see me perform...
I'd strip to bad ass blues like this...
and this....
little of this....
this shit right here, this shit right here was in What's Love Got to Do With It when Tina (Angela Basset) was still Anna Mae and she took the mic from Ike (Laurence Fishburn) and was killin it...
My theme song from my senior year in high school....
Blues guitar turns me on. my next lover will be a blues guitarist who takes me to the dives he plays at. i'd sit in the back with the bartender Bobby who's some big burly dude who wears a leather vest over a Zeppelin shirt and has long grey hair he keeps in a gnarled ponytail. i'd sip on ameretto sours and watch the drunk girls crowd the stage and try to get close to him. i won't mind though, cause i'll think of lying in bed with him and our secret exclusive little universe beneath the sheets, still warm from love making...
I'd strip to bad ass blues like this...
and this....
little of this....
this shit right here, this shit right here was in What's Love Got to Do With It when Tina (Angela Basset) was still Anna Mae and she took the mic from Ike (Laurence Fishburn) and was killin it...
My theme song from my senior year in high school....
Blues guitar turns me on. my next lover will be a blues guitarist who takes me to the dives he plays at. i'd sit in the back with the bartender Bobby who's some big burly dude who wears a leather vest over a Zeppelin shirt and has long grey hair he keeps in a gnarled ponytail. i'd sip on ameretto sours and watch the drunk girls crowd the stage and try to get close to him. i won't mind though, cause i'll think of lying in bed with him and our secret exclusive little universe beneath the sheets, still warm from love making...
Ghetto Romance
She drives across town responding to a text message "come see me".
Yes, SHE drives across town because of course, HE has no car. Just like the rest of all the other bums she's been attracted to or dated.
She arrives at his 'crib', he hops in the car, and they drive down the road to his cousin's house. Which probably wasn't his real cousin..but niggas these days seem to call all their close friends cousins now. Is this new?? Am I the only that has noticed that??
Walking into his cousin's house, she is greeted by a whiff of straight reefer, and about 5 dudes sitting on cloud 9 around a table playing cards. She sits on the red couch while he daps up his boys.
.....Then she continues to sit on the couch while he indulges in a conversation with his boys.
......UMM..did he just use her for a ride over there, or is he guna fuckin introduce her??
No. she gets nothing. So she speaks up and introduces her damn self.
He finally comes and sits next to her and teaches her how to play with a butterfly knife. Even tho she already knew how to do the shit, it was still cute. He lights up a Newport and she pulls out a Marlboro Smooth. She looks over at him and smiles because she already knows the next words to come out of his mouth will be, "Man, fuck your Marlboro's"...
Prediction is true, she just giggles, shrugs, says "fuck you", and sparks up her favorite cigarette. They finish and put them out in a soda can.
He puts his arm around her and they just sit on the red couch quite uncomfortable and not saying a word to eachother. He gets up and goes up the steps.
...Leaving her there...With a bunch of niggas...
Of course his cousins start asking questions. Not questions concerned about why he left her either. Questions, trying to get to know her, questions.
SMH..AND one of them gets bold and asks for her number.
...UMMM..WTF.
FINALLY her phone vibrates with a text from him telling her to "come upstairs".
She looks over at the steps and notices he has been standing there the whole time.
She walks up the steps, he grabs her hands, pulls her close, and kisses her in the hallway. He looks down the hall, and guides her into an empty dark room. He tries to close the door, then realizes..there is no door. It's actually propped up against the wall. Ghetto much??
He closes it the best way he can.
He puts her back up against the wall and starts kissing her. Basically getting the mood right. This is her favorite.
They undress, and have amazing sex. He did a position she had not discovered yet and she was absolutely blown away. She now calls this postion the "new new".
They finish at the same time and roll over on their backs. Still nude, he reaches for a cigarette and they have a cigarette together. Ashing it on the carpet, not giving a muther fuck. He stretches his arm out to her and pulls her closer. She closes her eyes and has realized her day JUST got so much better. She got what she wanted. He got what he wanted.
Call it what you want..
Yes, SHE drives across town because of course, HE has no car. Just like the rest of all the other bums she's been attracted to or dated.
She arrives at his 'crib', he hops in the car, and they drive down the road to his cousin's house. Which probably wasn't his real cousin..but niggas these days seem to call all their close friends cousins now. Is this new?? Am I the only that has noticed that??
Walking into his cousin's house, she is greeted by a whiff of straight reefer, and about 5 dudes sitting on cloud 9 around a table playing cards. She sits on the red couch while he daps up his boys.
.....Then she continues to sit on the couch while he indulges in a conversation with his boys.
......UMM..did he just use her for a ride over there, or is he guna fuckin introduce her??
No. she gets nothing. So she speaks up and introduces her damn self.
He finally comes and sits next to her and teaches her how to play with a butterfly knife. Even tho she already knew how to do the shit, it was still cute. He lights up a Newport and she pulls out a Marlboro Smooth. She looks over at him and smiles because she already knows the next words to come out of his mouth will be, "Man, fuck your Marlboro's"...
Prediction is true, she just giggles, shrugs, says "fuck you", and sparks up her favorite cigarette. They finish and put them out in a soda can.
He puts his arm around her and they just sit on the red couch quite uncomfortable and not saying a word to eachother. He gets up and goes up the steps.
...Leaving her there...With a bunch of niggas...
Of course his cousins start asking questions. Not questions concerned about why he left her either. Questions, trying to get to know her, questions.
SMH..AND one of them gets bold and asks for her number.
...UMMM..WTF.
FINALLY her phone vibrates with a text from him telling her to "come upstairs".
She looks over at the steps and notices he has been standing there the whole time.
She walks up the steps, he grabs her hands, pulls her close, and kisses her in the hallway. He looks down the hall, and guides her into an empty dark room. He tries to close the door, then realizes..there is no door. It's actually propped up against the wall. Ghetto much??
He closes it the best way he can.
He puts her back up against the wall and starts kissing her. Basically getting the mood right. This is her favorite.
They undress, and have amazing sex. He did a position she had not discovered yet and she was absolutely blown away. She now calls this postion the "new new".
They finish at the same time and roll over on their backs. Still nude, he reaches for a cigarette and they have a cigarette together. Ashing it on the carpet, not giving a muther fuck. He stretches his arm out to her and pulls her closer. She closes her eyes and has realized her day JUST got so much better. She got what she wanted. He got what he wanted.
Call it what you want..
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
#2010
so there is all this talk about how everyone wants to be in a relationship in #2010, and personally i feel like it is pointless!
#2010 for me will be about making my money and getting it to where i want it to be and also about finishing school and enjoying my 21st birthday!!!! so i thought about it......
WHY DONT I WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP??
1)to be honest the thought of being in a relationship is ideal. i would have someone to talk to, someone to bake cookies with (be a fellow fatkid with), someone to chill with on the regular, someone to lay around the house with, i would love to have sex more frequently and not feel like a horrible person afterwards, but the reality of it is that im just at a point in my life where i am way to selfish to think about being in a relationship. its a headache i dont need to have right now.
In reality....
1. i have plenty of problems on my own i cant deal with your too.
2. the last thing i need/want right now is to be dealing with groupies, past girlfriends, lifelong crushes ect.
3. im young and i like to flirt, there is a certain level of excitement to it
4. im in love with money and right now he hold my heart so he will always come first!
5. there are things that i plan on doing that just isnt planned with you in it
6. i dont trust you
7. i will leave you to chill with my girls
8. i like being single
so while i will most likely still be me in #2010 i will not by any means be looking for a relationship because it is the year to focus on myself :) We can be friends tho!!
My Look-Alikes??
Letoya Luckett
I've only had a few people to tell me I look like either Letoya Luckett or her little sister. I mean, she's a cute girl...but NO.
Ashanti
I got Ashanti more when I was younger than I do now, but people still tell me I look JUST like her. I was at a shoe store (DSW to be exact) not too long ago, and a man practically wanted to leave with me to make sure I really wasn't her. He kept saying "I would still get your autograph even if you aren't her because you look EXACTLY like her."
umm...akward much? I definitely gave him the 'fuck off' look.
And Ashanti was always the one I got defensive over. Because she is just not cute to me. She looks like a man. I've even had dudes holla at me with "AYO ASHANTI!"
Gabrielle Union
Gabrielle Union is probably the one I get THE MOST. I take it..she's a natural beauty.
Sanaa Lathan
If I hear, "you look like that girl from Love & Basketball" one more time...
We look NOTHING alike. I think another reason why I get this one so much is because I also play basketball? But hey, she's pretty too. Just has an awkard nose.
...And this is ME :) whom I look like. JUST ME. =]
Although, I wont even lie..my senior pic does look somewhat like Gabrielle.
And fuck that cat by the way. #justsayin...
I've only had a few people to tell me I look like either Letoya Luckett or her little sister. I mean, she's a cute girl...but NO.
Ashanti
I got Ashanti more when I was younger than I do now, but people still tell me I look JUST like her. I was at a shoe store (DSW to be exact) not too long ago, and a man practically wanted to leave with me to make sure I really wasn't her. He kept saying "I would still get your autograph even if you aren't her because you look EXACTLY like her."
umm...akward much? I definitely gave him the 'fuck off' look.
And Ashanti was always the one I got defensive over. Because she is just not cute to me. She looks like a man. I've even had dudes holla at me with "AYO ASHANTI!"
Gabrielle Union
Gabrielle Union is probably the one I get THE MOST. I take it..she's a natural beauty.
Sanaa Lathan
If I hear, "you look like that girl from Love & Basketball" one more time...
We look NOTHING alike. I think another reason why I get this one so much is because I also play basketball? But hey, she's pretty too. Just has an awkard nose.
...And this is ME :) whom I look like. JUST ME. =]
Although, I wont even lie..my senior pic does look somewhat like Gabrielle. And fuck that cat by the way. #justsayin...
Sunday, December 6, 2009
lo-fucking l
dude's face when mama goes to wipe his face with her spit is priceless. he jerked back like "waah?" while his face was like "come again, bitch"? I died laughing.
Okay...
1. t-pain's 'jodeci' he busts out at 2:43? hell yeah!!!!
2. "Fuck land I'm on a boat mutha'fucka" genius
3. adam samberg had me all hot and bothered... weird? i think not..
this video is like synthetic sunshine....
Justin sings entirely too good and they were channeling Color Me BADD so well it hurt. Justin's old school entrance on the track kills me. The follow up Mother lovers is good too, but sadly i couldn't find the clip.... :( and my bitch susan sarandon is in it... she will always be Mrs. March to me.
i kinda want to spend the rest of my life with him... we'd play pranks on people and then go home to play video games and drink beer from cans and eat sour patch kids and pizza. then we'd fuck.... sigh
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Proof That I Probably Should Have Just Been Born a Dude
1. Through out my school years, my favorite subject was P.E.
I was the only girl who didn't stand around and socialize, gossip, and talk about who I had a crush on. I was competing against the boys and getting mad if I was losing. (especially if we were playing football) my favorite. I didn't mind going into my next class a little funky and drenched in sweat. "It's only natural", I would say..while the other girls carried their perfume and makeup in their purses to primp before class started.
2. I never really had boobs until like last year. (because I started gaining weight is probably why I finally got some). In middle school, the boys would pick on me telling me I had "mosquito bites". And my dumbass didn't even get it until someone told me, "No, Rae they are saying that's wat ur titties look like. NOT saying you got bit by a mosquito."
SMFH...
Well, a good few kicks in their balls sure put a stop to them picking on me though. So I was straight. Plus, I don't like huge boobs anyway. I love mine :)
3. People say I walk like 'I don't give a fuck'. My guy bestfriend told me that was just a nicer way of telling me I walk like a dude.
4. My belches could shake the walls.
5. We're driving in his car, sittin on 22's, illegal tint, he touches the button to flip out his indash tv screen, looks at me and says "I already know this is what you want to listen to." It was Waka Flocka Flame. I say, "Nigga can you turn it up?" Shit, It was my favorite song.
6. I'd rather go to a hood club full of goons and chant every word to a song about guns, weed, and money, than go dance to pop music at a might as well be rave type shit.
7.I used to smoke these.
8. I don't ever want to have kids
9. I've always gotten along with dudes better than I do girls.
10. I talk about sex a lot.
11. I want sex a lot.
12. I know every word to this song.
and I'm not joking when I say every word. LOL
13. I'd much rather drink some beer, play some cards, and watch sports over doing cute, sweet, girly stuff.
14. I curse a lot.
15. I HATE long nails.
16.
17. My name is Rae. ??
18. I drive with my seat pretty far back.
19. "Bitch, I go hard like the boy from 300."-Weezy F. Baby
20. He turns out the light, tries to undress me.-"I can undress myself".-He turns on the old school love songs.-"You don't have any plies, r.kelly, or pretty ricky?"-He starts passionately kissing me.-"Can we just fuck already?"-
21. A good friend who just recently moved away called me yesterday. She wanted my advice. She just discovered her new boyfriend has a small peepee. She asked what would I do. I said, "on to the next one".
22. I've always wanted one of those huge redneck lookin trucks.
23. I can out drink every guy I know.
24. What's so special about getting flowers??
......I really hope you don't take this
"I Should Have Just Been Born a Dude"
as
"She's probably Just Gay"
O_o
I was the only girl who didn't stand around and socialize, gossip, and talk about who I had a crush on. I was competing against the boys and getting mad if I was losing. (especially if we were playing football) my favorite. I didn't mind going into my next class a little funky and drenched in sweat. "It's only natural", I would say..while the other girls carried their perfume and makeup in their purses to primp before class started.
2. I never really had boobs until like last year. (because I started gaining weight is probably why I finally got some). In middle school, the boys would pick on me telling me I had "mosquito bites". And my dumbass didn't even get it until someone told me, "No, Rae they are saying that's wat ur titties look like. NOT saying you got bit by a mosquito."
SMFH...
Well, a good few kicks in their balls sure put a stop to them picking on me though. So I was straight. Plus, I don't like huge boobs anyway. I love mine :)
3. People say I walk like 'I don't give a fuck'. My guy bestfriend told me that was just a nicer way of telling me I walk like a dude.
4. My belches could shake the walls.
5. We're driving in his car, sittin on 22's, illegal tint, he touches the button to flip out his indash tv screen, looks at me and says "I already know this is what you want to listen to." It was Waka Flocka Flame. I say, "Nigga can you turn it up?" Shit, It was my favorite song.
6. I'd rather go to a hood club full of goons and chant every word to a song about guns, weed, and money, than go dance to pop music at a might as well be rave type shit.
7.
8. I don't ever want to have kids
9. I've always gotten along with dudes better than I do girls.
10. I talk about sex a lot.
11. I want sex a lot.
12. I know every word to this song.
and I'm not joking when I say every word. LOL
13. I'd much rather drink some beer, play some cards, and watch sports over doing cute, sweet, girly stuff.
14. I curse a lot.
15. I HATE long nails.
16.
17. My name is Rae. ??
18. I drive with my seat pretty far back.
19. "Bitch, I go hard like the boy from 300."-Weezy F. Baby
20. He turns out the light, tries to undress me.-"I can undress myself".-He turns on the old school love songs.-"You don't have any plies, r.kelly, or pretty ricky?"-He starts passionately kissing me.-"Can we just fuck already?"-
21. A good friend who just recently moved away called me yesterday. She wanted my advice. She just discovered her new boyfriend has a small peepee. She asked what would I do. I said, "on to the next one".
22. I've always wanted one of those huge redneck lookin trucks.
23. I can out drink every guy I know.
24. What's so special about getting flowers??
......I really hope you don't take this
"I Should Have Just Been Born a Dude"
as
"She's probably Just Gay"
O_o
Proof that I can be a girl
Most romantic things I've actually experienced:
1. we're driving down this aged neighborhood in Dilworth and the houses are brick with glossy black shutters. The trees are large with huge leafy canvases and the sky is gray and bright like a sheer heather gray sweater over the sun. i pick out a beautiful brick cottage with wisterias growing around the perimeter. "that one's beautiful," I tell him. He pulls up to the house across the street so we can study it. "yeah it is, when we grow up we can buy the house when we're famous writers."
"I want that room right there to write in," I say pointing to a window draped the most in the purple foliage. "Fine," he says,"and i'll grow you a little garden below it so you can look out at it while you write."
2. Zero 7 "Destiny"
3. we're at the shabby excuse for a lakehouse and we're in the back of the jeep with the trunk open. we're in our swimsuits and we're lying in there making up stories. we make it a challenge to rhyme the words. we come up with a tale about ladies with wooden hips and great sailing ships. the sun is bright and shines through thick overhead tree leaves and branches in slivers of warmth that makes my insides smile. He kisses me and i can taste the saltiness of his lips and the lazy heat of summer.
4. Bill Withers "Ain't no Sunshine"
5. Poems scribbled on sweaty rumpled scraps of notebook paper. he wrote like E.E Cummings. like for serious...
6. we're driving in the car and his ipod's plugged in. Michael Jackson's History plays. I look over at him speechless. he smiles, "You like Michael so i downloaded the whole two disc albums so you'd have something to listen to." He hates michael. I sing Billy Jean at the top of my lungs out of the windows that he always liked to have down and he tries to catch on to the beat.
7. Boyz II Men "I"ll Make Love to You"
8. Singing Guns n Roses "Welcome to the Jungle" at full volume and trying to be bad ass like Axle.
9. Driving on his lap through an empty parking lot cause he's smart enough not to let me drive that huge jeep on my own and i won't stop begging. I can't drive worth shit.
10.Smokey Robinson "Cruisin"
11. Calling me from one of his drunken camping trips to tell me "goodnight and I love you". his friend's retching sounds audible in the background.
12.Eric Clapton "Wonderful Tonight"
13. Knowing what my kiss tastes like. (green jolly ranchers)
14. End scene in The Bodyguard
Ummm... this fucking changed my life.... this will NOT be the last time this movie will be mentioned, so don't act like you don't know.
15. song throughout A Walk to Remember
Fucking movie makes me cry...
16. You fucking know...
1. we're driving down this aged neighborhood in Dilworth and the houses are brick with glossy black shutters. The trees are large with huge leafy canvases and the sky is gray and bright like a sheer heather gray sweater over the sun. i pick out a beautiful brick cottage with wisterias growing around the perimeter. "that one's beautiful," I tell him. He pulls up to the house across the street so we can study it. "yeah it is, when we grow up we can buy the house when we're famous writers."
"I want that room right there to write in," I say pointing to a window draped the most in the purple foliage. "Fine," he says,"and i'll grow you a little garden below it so you can look out at it while you write."
2. Zero 7 "Destiny"
3. we're at the shabby excuse for a lakehouse and we're in the back of the jeep with the trunk open. we're in our swimsuits and we're lying in there making up stories. we make it a challenge to rhyme the words. we come up with a tale about ladies with wooden hips and great sailing ships. the sun is bright and shines through thick overhead tree leaves and branches in slivers of warmth that makes my insides smile. He kisses me and i can taste the saltiness of his lips and the lazy heat of summer.
4. Bill Withers "Ain't no Sunshine"
5. Poems scribbled on sweaty rumpled scraps of notebook paper. he wrote like E.E Cummings. like for serious...
6. we're driving in the car and his ipod's plugged in. Michael Jackson's History plays. I look over at him speechless. he smiles, "You like Michael so i downloaded the whole two disc albums so you'd have something to listen to." He hates michael. I sing Billy Jean at the top of my lungs out of the windows that he always liked to have down and he tries to catch on to the beat.
7. Boyz II Men "I"ll Make Love to You"
8. Singing Guns n Roses "Welcome to the Jungle" at full volume and trying to be bad ass like Axle.
9. Driving on his lap through an empty parking lot cause he's smart enough not to let me drive that huge jeep on my own and i won't stop begging. I can't drive worth shit.
10.Smokey Robinson "Cruisin"
11. Calling me from one of his drunken camping trips to tell me "goodnight and I love you". his friend's retching sounds audible in the background.
12.Eric Clapton "Wonderful Tonight"
13. Knowing what my kiss tastes like. (green jolly ranchers)
14. End scene in The Bodyguard
Ummm... this fucking changed my life.... this will NOT be the last time this movie will be mentioned, so don't act like you don't know.
15. song throughout A Walk to Remember
Fucking movie makes me cry...
16. You fucking know...
17. "See that girl/ She knows I'm watching/ She likes the way I stare" -Michael Jackson Human Nature
18. "In a haze a stormy haze/ I'll be there, I'll be lovin' you always/ Always" -Coldplay Parachutes
18. "In a haze a stormy haze/ I'll be there, I'll be lovin' you always/ Always" -Coldplay Parachutes
19.It's freezing we're held up in his car listening to oldies, playing my jump off "i-know- more- songs- than- you. Isley Brothers For the Love of You comes on. We start singing to each other pointing and swaying to the beat. we lose count over whose winning.... well maybe just he did. Him: 3 Me: 5 bonus points for Twisted Sister.
20. Edwin McCain "I'll be"
21. Spending a day in the woods we're walking to his car side by side. "Sometimes i think, 'I could see myself doing this with you everyday.' Like i guess I could marry this girl. It wouldn't be too horrible," he says nonchalantly. I push him and he laughs. then he pushes my ass right back.
20. Edwin McCain "I'll be"
21. Spending a day in the woods we're walking to his car side by side. "Sometimes i think, 'I could see myself doing this with you everyday.' Like i guess I could marry this girl. It wouldn't be too horrible," he says nonchalantly. I push him and he laughs. then he pushes my ass right back.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
w.t.f
my thoughts:
1. stop being a hater
2. it is not my fault that u have NO FRIENDS
3. maybe you shouldnt be such a bitch and you wouldnt be so miserable.
4. stop snitching we are not in middle school or even high school anymore
5. stop being a hypocrite
6. maybe if u werent such a nasty butt you wouldnt be in this situation.
7. stop being up peoples ass' that dont even like u. (does that make any fucking sense)
8. i can totally understand why your boyfriend cheats on you.
this is not directed towards anyone person it is just for haters in general and if u are offended by it then yes u are a hater..... SORRY BOO!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
say it right
i'm really gullible sometimes... on a lighter note this song is dope, but raise you're hand if the first thing you think of is hilary duff's version...
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Pretty Pistols Tatted Up
From this day forth, nobody can tell me what I cannot do.
Because today, I took pain like a straight up gangster. a thug. a mutherfuckin "G".
Stephanie and I got tatted the fuck up. And I say tatted 'the fuck up' because we definately went harder on this tattoo than any other. We chiefed a marlboro smooth, sat for about an hour in that black leather chair, and spent big bucks that were totally worth it.
*high fives Stephanie*...
This bitch got her whole side tatted. A japanese flower that looks AMAZING and fits her cute little body perfectly. And yes, she took hers like a "G" as well.
Me on the other hand, will have to maneuver with a stiff neck for about a day or two, but I'm totally fine with it because I am in love with my new tattoo just as much as I'm in love with Stephanie's. This is why I have a stiff neck..
because I sat like this for practically an eternity.
*pats myself on the back, then curtseys to all you haters*
Here is my end result:
"The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life" Proverbs 11:30a
We even kinda sorta hopefully inspired Christina to get a tattoo even though she "doesn't believe in them" :)
But you know what..this is what I want to tell you, Christina..
You want to know what a tattoo feels like??
This is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the damn truth.
Because today, I took pain like a straight up gangster. a thug. a mutherfuckin "G".
Stephanie and I got tatted the fuck up. And I say tatted 'the fuck up' because we definately went harder on this tattoo than any other. We chiefed a marlboro smooth, sat for about an hour in that black leather chair, and spent big bucks that were totally worth it.
*high fives Stephanie*...
This bitch got her whole side tatted. A japanese flower that looks AMAZING and fits her cute little body perfectly. And yes, she took hers like a "G" as well.
Me on the other hand, will have to maneuver with a stiff neck for about a day or two, but I'm totally fine with it because I am in love with my new tattoo just as much as I'm in love with Stephanie's. This is why I have a stiff neck..
because I sat like this for practically an eternity.
*pats myself on the back, then curtseys to all you haters*
Here is my end result:
"The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life" Proverbs 11:30a
We even kinda sorta hopefully inspired Christina to get a tattoo even though she "doesn't believe in them" :)
But you know what..this is what I want to tell you, Christina..
You want to know what a tattoo feels like??
This is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the damn truth.
Monday, November 23, 2009
A little piece of musical Valium
sometimes i feel like some big lumbering ugly chik named Bertha or some other name that's only issued to cows or people born before the fifties. sometimes i want to just scream cause i'm so angry and sometimes i feel like being very quiet. I'm like this little tornado with not enough wind and i just don't know what to do. i was driving to this hole in the wall club Rae's always ending up in and since i'm usually with her i end up too. i'm listening to NPR like i do when i'm by myself and lost or feel like i could possibly get lost since i'm a horrible driver,because the voices are like this serene ocean to me and plus it reminds me of when i was a little kid and daddy would drive us to school in the morning and we'd listen to All Things Considered . like i'm just this little kid and i'm doing what i should be doing and i'll be safe cause my dad's driving. so i'm listening and their doing World Cafe and this song comes on and it literally makes my soul chill out and i imagine this is what it must feel like when you just know everything is taken care of and you can just rest easy. like my idyllic little life in moreno valley, california when i was little and we had plum trees, and grapes, and peaches. and i thought it was romantic and i swooned and wanted to disappear for a second and just be happy like i used to be when i was a little kid... cause i was this really happy little kid. just really fucking happy. ALL the time and i'd sing and shout and snuggle up to people and when family members see me again they just look at me and go "who the fuck's this". and i really couldn't tell them...
later i found out that the song is hardly romantic but mostly about alcohol and some chik with syrup lips and his drunken dependency on her....
and people wonder why i'm cynical.
later i found out that the song is hardly romantic but mostly about alcohol and some chik with syrup lips and his drunken dependency on her....
and people wonder why i'm cynical.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
NO CEILINGS
a little of this and a little of that
my love affair with robin thicke grows stronger each day. his song with Gossip Girl's leighton meester is the shiz. its her debut song for her new album, but he sings circles around her which speaks volumes. makes me think i can come out with something.
seriously though, i was like shouting "Get off him" through out out most of it and it still sounded good.
i heard this song on my way to God knows where and why and chick, Kasha, sounded like a mix between nicki minaj, kid sister, and those dudes in bands, that i believe are just 90s boy bands for the 00s, that believe they pass as alternative, or dare i say it, punk. yes, this kasha uses a foreign dialect that acts such as Hellogoodbye and Yellowcard seem to also use. i may get clowned, by the pistols for this ish, but i was def sucked in and didn't exactly turn the dial. Ahhh, the slow but inevitable death of radio and our generation....
plus this bitch must be young cause why would you get with a dude that looked like mick jagger. bitch do you know who that is? could you wake up to this shiz every morning. rock royalty or not. damn, i guess I'd have to brush my teeth with jack too.
...on second thought maybe back in the day jagger.
but then there's Beyonce's video with Gaga... Beyonce is stunning as usual. Love the betty paige-esque makeup; she looks like a doll. she's all basic bad-ass Beyonce all gangsta and shiz. now Gaga *sigh* her vocals sound good and umm, uh, yeah, her vocals sounded beautiful.
Gaga-aye, why didn't you hire the gay who did you up here?
oh and gaga, uh, hello opening scene from my jump off Clockwork Orange. don't act like i didn't catch that, chik. Compare done below by speeding up to 1: 23, sorry it's in french, but damn if it isn't sexy as fuck. je'taime, sexy sounding dub person.
seriously though, i was like shouting "Get off him" through out out most of it and it still sounded good.
i heard this song on my way to God knows where and why and chick, Kasha, sounded like a mix between nicki minaj, kid sister, and those dudes in bands, that i believe are just 90s boy bands for the 00s, that believe they pass as alternative, or dare i say it, punk. yes, this kasha uses a foreign dialect that acts such as Hellogoodbye and Yellowcard seem to also use. i may get clowned, by the pistols for this ish, but i was def sucked in and didn't exactly turn the dial. Ahhh, the slow but inevitable death of radio and our generation....
plus this bitch must be young cause why would you get with a dude that looked like mick jagger. bitch do you know who that is? could you wake up to this shiz every morning. rock royalty or not. damn, i guess I'd have to brush my teeth with jack too.
...on second thought maybe back in the day jagger.
but then there's Beyonce's video with Gaga... Beyonce is stunning as usual. Love the betty paige-esque makeup; she looks like a doll. she's all basic bad-ass Beyonce all gangsta and shiz. now Gaga *sigh* her vocals sound good and umm, uh, yeah, her vocals sounded beautiful.Gaga-aye, why didn't you hire the gay who did you up here?
oh and gaga, uh, hello opening scene from my jump off Clockwork Orange. don't act like i didn't catch that, chik. Compare done below by speeding up to 1: 23, sorry it's in french, but damn if it isn't sexy as fuck. je'taime, sexy sounding dub person.
Ah, the new shakira video. she is the hispanic beyonce, i died at 2:42 til 2:50. that dance is genius and i know B, or Sasha, was like damn and gave her choreographer a eye roll and a teeth suck.
ECHO
So I'm just sitting here babysitting, and thinking, and wondering..the usual.
Babysitting the 2 most adorable kids ever. Thinking about wtf I'm doing with my life. And wondering who's guna be the most perfectest guy to give me some lovin' to this amazing song by R.Kelly..
This song is definately a classic, and whoever disagrees is most certainly a douche and has zero taste in music.
I'm also sitting here thinking about my life. My circle of dudes. And my friends.
I'm happy with my life and where I stand in life right now, but there are still some things I'd like to get done and change.
FIRST..I'd LOVE to lose the 20 pounds I've been saying I'm guna lose for the past like 3 years. and SECOND..I'd like to work on my relationship with the Lord and be on fire for God like I used to be. I've really been slacking lately and catch myself going through the whole day without even speaking to God and at least thanking Him for letting me see another day. *sigh*..but idk..it's strange. A part of me just doesn't feel like my heart is in it. hmmm...
Well THIRD..I kinda want a frikin' boyfriend already! ugh! I want to be loved again. I want to go on cute dates. And I want to prove to a dude that I can be the most amazing girlfriend ever. Since according to my ex boyfriend, I was definately the worst. smh..
MY CIRCLE OF DUDES..
Oh where do I begin. Well, to be honest, I'm kinda torn between two. It was three, but the third dude fucked up last nite so he's been deaded. LOL
So..I'm left with a scrawny little dude who I really like and just met a couple months ago and a guy that I've liked for a while but I must be a loser girl because I don't believe he likes me back. Well, now he's kinda showing he does..but he might just be tryin to get it in. And that's not anywhere near what I want. Well...i do. LOL but not JUST that. sigh..decisions, decisions.
MY FRIENDS..
I love them dearly. My pretty pistols are my family and my ride or dies. I'm so thankful to have such amazing friends. I would do anything for them and know they would do the same for me. It kinda sux tho b/c I feel as if my sister should be my best friend. But our relationship has slowly but surely...um..DIED.
sad story..but oh well. A best friend is someone you can trust, and I most certainly have lost all of my trust in my sister.
Well, life goes on. Mistakes are made. Feelings are hurt. And we should all just go eat dirt. right?..NO. That was a joke. I just wanted something to rhyme because I knew it would sound cool. FAIL..i know. shutup.
But I'm guessing I should feed these kids now because they have asked for their chicken nuggets about 100 times. One has taken a shit in his diaper and smells like rotten zombies. And one is whining because I won't let him color with markers.
They are still the most adorable kids ever tho.
So I feel happy now because I haven't blogged in a while, and I should definately earn my brownies for this.
yay me! boo you. I'm outie til next time bitches :) <---LAME.
Babysitting the 2 most adorable kids ever. Thinking about wtf I'm doing with my life. And wondering who's guna be the most perfectest guy to give me some lovin' to this amazing song by R.Kelly..
This song is definately a classic, and whoever disagrees is most certainly a douche and has zero taste in music.
I'm also sitting here thinking about my life. My circle of dudes. And my friends.
I'm happy with my life and where I stand in life right now, but there are still some things I'd like to get done and change.
FIRST..I'd LOVE to lose the 20 pounds I've been saying I'm guna lose for the past like 3 years. and SECOND..I'd like to work on my relationship with the Lord and be on fire for God like I used to be. I've really been slacking lately and catch myself going through the whole day without even speaking to God and at least thanking Him for letting me see another day. *sigh*..but idk..it's strange. A part of me just doesn't feel like my heart is in it. hmmm...
Well THIRD..I kinda want a frikin' boyfriend already! ugh! I want to be loved again. I want to go on cute dates. And I want to prove to a dude that I can be the most amazing girlfriend ever. Since according to my ex boyfriend, I was definately the worst. smh..
Oh where do I begin. Well, to be honest, I'm kinda torn between two. It was three, but the third dude fucked up last nite so he's been deaded. LOL
So..I'm left with a scrawny little dude who I really like and just met a couple months ago and a guy that I've liked for a while but I must be a loser girl because I don't believe he likes me back. Well, now he's kinda showing he does..but he might just be tryin to get it in. And that's not anywhere near what I want. Well...i do. LOL but not JUST that. sigh..decisions, decisions.
I love them dearly. My pretty pistols are my family and my ride or dies. I'm so thankful to have such amazing friends. I would do anything for them and know they would do the same for me. It kinda sux tho b/c I feel as if my sister should be my best friend. But our relationship has slowly but surely...um..DIED.
sad story..but oh well. A best friend is someone you can trust, and I most certainly have lost all of my trust in my sister.
Well, life goes on. Mistakes are made. Feelings are hurt. And we should all just go eat dirt. right?..NO. That was a joke. I just wanted something to rhyme because I knew it would sound cool. FAIL..i know. shutup.
But I'm guessing I should feed these kids now because they have asked for their chicken nuggets about 100 times. One has taken a shit in his diaper and smells like rotten zombies. And one is whining because I won't let him color with markers.
They are still the most adorable kids ever tho.
So I feel happy now because I haven't blogged in a while, and I should definately earn my brownies for this.
yay me! boo you. I'm outie til next time bitches :) <---LAME.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Marry Me, Trey??
Why could'nt I have been the girl in this video!?! Gah!
He went hard on this video though and I'm frikin' in L.O.V.E
He went hard on this video though and I'm frikin' in L.O.V.E
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
You can see my heart beating
he sleeps while i lay here and think of him
he sleeps while i lay here and dream of him
he sleeps while i lay here and fantasies of what we could be
he sleeps while i lay here and daydream of everything he can do
he sleeps while i lay here consider that maybe im not everything he wants
he sleeps while worry that someone else will steal his heart
he sleeps while i lay here and plan our lives
he sleeps while i stand here and wait for him
Breakfast in bed/ love the way I eat....
Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind, don't assign me yours.
-Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
-Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
this quote should explain a lot..
so i'm listening to baby-makers cause it's nighty night or atleast it should be, but these have been in my gutter, a.k.a my mind's location...
He may at one point peed in a bitch face, but he can put out a relevant baby maker and you know it. Dude made yodeling sexy as fuck. fave line: "I got you soundin like you screamin' from a mountain peak". makes me want to stand on a hill and shout RIIIICCCOOOLLLLAAAA!!!!!!
oooh and you know i love some damn robin thicke, even though he is of poppa Seaver progeny. you know you caught Growing Pains.
MMMM... fave line: It's your body we'll go HARD if you want to/As hard as you want to, soft if you want to....
Yes, he said hard as you want to!!! play it on reloop if you don't believe me. but he also said soft. i like options. I think i'm in love.
then my beloved trey songz even tho i was looking at pleasure p to be the king of the baby makers of this generation.
so i'm listening to baby-makers cause it's nighty night or atleast it should be, but these have been in my gutter, a.k.a my mind's location...
He may at one point peed in a bitch face, but he can put out a relevant baby maker and you know it. Dude made yodeling sexy as fuck. fave line: "I got you soundin like you screamin' from a mountain peak". makes me want to stand on a hill and shout RIIIICCCOOOLLLLAAAA!!!!!!
oooh and you know i love some damn robin thicke, even though he is of poppa Seaver progeny. you know you caught Growing Pains.
MMMM... fave line: It's your body we'll go HARD if you want to/As hard as you want to, soft if you want to....
Yes, he said hard as you want to!!! play it on reloop if you don't believe me. but he also said soft. i like options. I think i'm in love.
then my beloved trey songz even tho i was looking at pleasure p to be the king of the baby makers of this generation.
Fave line: read post title. he aint' talkin 'bout no bacon and eggs. giggle giggle. and why does trey songz look sooooo delicious ever since he cut off them damn braids? either that or the fact he has a thing for ethiopian chix.... ewedeshalo, trey!!!!!!
For the old heads..
teena marie's part literally gives me chills 6:40-7:00 is out of this world!!!!. fave part: Love them and leave them/that's what i used to do use and abuse them/ then i laid eyes on you...
and somebody needs to make what rick james is wearing cool again cause i would like to don one ASAP.
For the old heads..
teena marie's part literally gives me chills 6:40-7:00 is out of this world!!!!. fave part: Love them and leave them/that's what i used to do use and abuse them/ then i laid eyes on you...
and somebody needs to make what rick james is wearing cool again cause i would like to don one ASAP.
Last but definitely not least....
DO NOT ACT LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW!!!!!! any song that can cause thugs to sing along can definitely make some babies. fave part: You tell me where to go and/Though I might leave to find it/ I'll never let your head hit the bed/ Without my hand to guide it.... AWWWWWWW.
I need a cuddle bunny NOW. the temperature is falling fast!
DO NOT ACT LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW!!!!!! any song that can cause thugs to sing along can definitely make some babies. fave part: You tell me where to go and/Though I might leave to find it/ I'll never let your head hit the bed/ Without my hand to guide it.... AWWWWWWW.
I need a cuddle bunny NOW. the temperature is falling fast!
Pistols at Enso
we had a bunch of food we didn't understand. tina was poisoned, our waiter was a dick rockin' the mini modern fro. But the bathroom was dope.
Friday, November 6, 2009
If You're Happy and You Think You Know it, Shit Rainbows.
Since my last few blogs haven't been quite on the happy side lately, I've decided to post one that will make ME smile. Because I honestly don't give a fuck if it makes YOU smile or not. POW!
Anywho, today was most definitely a good day. Once my fellow pretty pistols got here anyway. We chatted, ate, and laughed at ourselves for crying over silly boys. WTF.
I believe it's time to let go and let God have His way. Obviously the guys we want are not for us. SIGH.. sux pretty badly, but oh well. I will pretend I'm over it and strut my stuff like I DONT GIVE A FUCK. (in Jasmine's goon voice).
I mean, really..we all are pretty girls and have GREAT personalities. There should be NO reason for a guy to turn us down, RIGHT?..eh, WRONG.
Maybe I should go down the list of everything wrong with me and try to fix these little glitches about myself. hmmmm...
1. I do belch alot and not even excuse myself
2. My nose gets a little oily at times
3. My toenail polish always seems to be chipped
4. I bite my fingernails like a crackhead who has lost her crack
5. I seem to be a goon magnet
6. I don't like wasting my gas..yes, YOU'RE a waste of gas
7. I'm currently on bum status (meaning no job, nor in school)
8. I'm slowly gaining weight even tho I'm deathly afraid of getting fat
9. I believe I have the mind of an obese person, because I could eat everything on my plate, finish what you didn't eat, and STILL be hungry. So if we ever go to dinner, bring lots of money.
10. I don't know how to cook or do laundry
11. I'm not a fighter. So if you need somebody to back you up at times, don't expect me to start taking out my earrings and pulling out my vaseline. You'll only catch dust in your face from me sprinting away as fast as I can.
12. I'm no good at cheering people up when they are down. So if you're grandma just died, please don't call me.
13. I give good advice, but never take my own
14. I forget things easily. Simple things at that.
15. Sometimes I forget to put on deodorant, but I don't smell or anything
16. I'm not too sure if I spelled deodorant right.
17. I ignore a shitload of text messages and still seem to be texting 24/7
18. I get along with guys better than I do girls
19. I trust no one
20. I'm extremely kind at times and people mistake that for flirting. or something.
21. I don't like doing what people tell me to do. I usually end up doing the opposite
22. I don't know how to tell people NO. Usually when they ask for my number.
23. Sometimes I think way too hard
24. I cry myself to sleep sometimes and don't even know what I'm crying about
25. I'm very independent, and past boyfriends have taken that as if I don't care. that's not the case.
26. I'm not dumb, but sometimes I don't get the simplest things
27. I can be clumsy
28. If I tell you I'm one place, I'm probably lying. Only because I don't like people checking up on me
29. I like freaks and weirdos
30. I have reached number 30, so I'm guna stop.
Okay, so maybe there are few more things wrong with me than I thought. Well, not everything I listed about myself is wrong. So, don't judge me. Like I've said numerous times, "Don't judge me, I'll just prove you wrong."
Eh, I'm getting kinda hungry even tho I just killed TWO biscuits from bojangles AND a chalupa from taco bell. Damn, I'm such a fatass. SO WHAT. I bet you have a pencil dick, but I still won't judge you. maybe.
So I've been listening to this song as I write. This song was the shit this past summer, and I still love it. It makes me think of my boo boo Josh :) I love that kid. So here's to you, Josh!! Who probably will never see this, so that shout out was pretty pointless.
But before I go, I want to let all know..my status will be happy and will stay happy.So don't ruin it.
Now watch me post some depressing shit tomorrow b/c some little fucker made me sad again. SMFH.
Anywho, today was most definitely a good day. Once my fellow pretty pistols got here anyway. We chatted, ate, and laughed at ourselves for crying over silly boys. WTF.
I believe it's time to let go and let God have His way. Obviously the guys we want are not for us. SIGH.. sux pretty badly, but oh well. I will pretend I'm over it and strut my stuff like I DONT GIVE A FUCK. (in Jasmine's goon voice).
I mean, really..we all are pretty girls and have GREAT personalities. There should be NO reason for a guy to turn us down, RIGHT?..eh, WRONG.
Maybe I should go down the list of everything wrong with me and try to fix these little glitches about myself. hmmmm...
1. I do belch alot and not even excuse myself
2. My nose gets a little oily at times
3. My toenail polish always seems to be chipped
4. I bite my fingernails like a crackhead who has lost her crack
5. I seem to be a goon magnet
6. I don't like wasting my gas..yes, YOU'RE a waste of gas
7. I'm currently on bum status (meaning no job, nor in school)
8. I'm slowly gaining weight even tho I'm deathly afraid of getting fat
9. I believe I have the mind of an obese person, because I could eat everything on my plate, finish what you didn't eat, and STILL be hungry. So if we ever go to dinner, bring lots of money.
10. I don't know how to cook or do laundry
11. I'm not a fighter. So if you need somebody to back you up at times, don't expect me to start taking out my earrings and pulling out my vaseline. You'll only catch dust in your face from me sprinting away as fast as I can.
12. I'm no good at cheering people up when they are down. So if you're grandma just died, please don't call me.
13. I give good advice, but never take my own
14. I forget things easily. Simple things at that.
15. Sometimes I forget to put on deodorant, but I don't smell or anything
16. I'm not too sure if I spelled deodorant right.
17. I ignore a shitload of text messages and still seem to be texting 24/7
18. I get along with guys better than I do girls
19. I trust no one
20. I'm extremely kind at times and people mistake that for flirting. or something.
21. I don't like doing what people tell me to do. I usually end up doing the opposite
22. I don't know how to tell people NO. Usually when they ask for my number.
23. Sometimes I think way too hard
24. I cry myself to sleep sometimes and don't even know what I'm crying about
25. I'm very independent, and past boyfriends have taken that as if I don't care. that's not the case.
26. I'm not dumb, but sometimes I don't get the simplest things
27. I can be clumsy
28. If I tell you I'm one place, I'm probably lying. Only because I don't like people checking up on me
29. I like freaks and weirdos
30. I have reached number 30, so I'm guna stop.
Okay, so maybe there are few more things wrong with me than I thought. Well, not everything I listed about myself is wrong. So, don't judge me. Like I've said numerous times, "Don't judge me, I'll just prove you wrong."
Eh, I'm getting kinda hungry even tho I just killed TWO biscuits from bojangles AND a chalupa from taco bell. Damn, I'm such a fatass. SO WHAT. I bet you have a pencil dick, but I still won't judge you. maybe.
So I've been listening to this song as I write. This song was the shit this past summer, and I still love it. It makes me think of my boo boo Josh :) I love that kid. So here's to you, Josh!! Who probably will never see this, so that shout out was pretty pointless.
But before I go, I want to let all know..my status will be happy and will stay happy.
Now watch me post some depressing shit tomorrow b/c some little fucker made me sad again. SMFH.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Persuaded by the lie of a Fairytale
recently on facebook i found a girl, or should i say women that brought me way back to my childhood (:go figure:) i was so HAPPY to see her because when i was a LITTLE girl she TOUCHED my heart in a way that nobody would ever be able to FORGET. and she wasn't BOASTFUL or PRIDEFUL about it which embedded it into my heart FOREVER.
as a young girl i WANTED to be just like her, her SPIRIT was CALMING and REASSURING, she GENUINELY CARED about the people that God had created, she WANTED to help them HELP themselves, she was totally and completely IN LOVE with God and i ENVIED the relationship she had with Him. just by her actions she made me want to be a better person and i will NEVER forget the day that her mother came to my grandmothers house and said that she had found her DREAM man and was MOVING to AFRICA to MARRY him and start a MINISTRY there. at that point i WANTED to be here. i wanted to get MARRIED at a young age and spend my WHOLE LIFE with a man that could also HELP me BUILD my RELATIONSHIP with GOD and at the same time HELP others to find and BUILD theirs. it me it SEEMED like a FAIRYTALE.
(i am going into all this DETAIL about her to set up something that is just mind blowing. and i am SORRY that i probably wont do it any JUSTICE but it sits heavy on my mind)
either way she was 19 at the time and MOVED to AFRICA to be with this man and she began a MINISTRY that grew and grew under the COVERING of GOD. her HUSBAND was the only BOYFRIEND she'd EVER had. none the less she found out that HE was having an AFFAIR with one of the females WITHIN their MINISTRY. i cant and don't want to begin to IMAGINE the PAIN that she is enduring.
her HUSBAND and AFRICA were her LIFE its all she knew, i want to say that it DEFINES her but i don't know how safe of a statement that is. either way her WHOLE world was FLIPPED, CRUMBLED, and STOLEN but the SELFISHNESS of one mans FLESH. and it leaves me asking myself WHY??
WHY bother DATING??
WHY bother looking for someone that makes you HAPPY??
WHY bother waisting your time SEARCHING for someone to spend your LIFE with??
WHY has God so STRONGLY put the DESIRE in my HEART when even the people that i thought were FAIRYTALE perfect are FALLING APART??
WHY bother with MARRIAGE??
Let's do the Time Warp
I'm about to divulge a little secret. the secret, dear pretty pistol audience, is this: girls mature at a disarmingly faster pace than our male counterparts. we realize much faster that you cannot eat paste and that wrestling each other onto the ground is homoerotic no matter how many manly grunts you let out. when, i wonder, do they actually catch up? two lovely ladies i actually find to be the shit and not like usual girls, are going through the SAME shit i'm sure countless numbers of you are going through right now. older dudes that function at the same maturity level as dudes their own age. is it true that the economy has not only shrunk men's pockets but also the relationship lobes in their brains. i mean, how long is the maturity lapse? four years? two? ten? i mean this bullshit right here, might actually make some damn sense
these two girls are laid back, funny, aren't bug-a-boo naggers and are gorgeous pieces of real estate yet are plagued by grown ass men pulling little boy shiz. i honestly blame this mu'fucka right here.
seriously ray j? your old ass kind of needs to not only tied down but sitting on a porch in georgia with your ball n chain sippin' ice tea and waiting for your children and grandchildren to visit. does anybody else think its a damn shame he's singing this song with a bunch of little chaps? but from what i saw on this debacle, i doubt if he's even functioning at twiddle dee and twiddle dum's maturity level.
yes, For the Love of Ray J which by the way started Nov. 2 Mondays @ 9 on VH1. i wonder how many of the ladies ever heard of the New Boyz....speaking of trashy reality shows how many of you besides me, my older sister, and my bitch rae, bout to watch the new season of the Bad Girls Club on Oxygen? Don't worry, i won't tell no body. the bitches look scandalous and this one right here, Portia? look like she's bout to be my new favorite; she look like she'll cut a bitch and then take her weave. plus they describe her as sugar and spice which i take as them downplaying her so we can be surprised when she the HBIC.
the 4th season debuts Dec. 1 at 10. i'm salivating.Tuesday, November 3, 2009
do you think that she is prettier than me??
i have no good intro for this i have written and rewritten the first sentence 100+ times but here is goes.
today i was with my favorite person in the world just talking about nonsense. i went to see her actually just to cheer myself up for the very interesting few days that i've had and while it worked it made me REALIZED a lot of things about myself.
i think that me and my favorite are PRETTY girls, and also have EXCELLENT personalities. if u asked me to rate us on a scale i mean i think we would get and 8 or a 9 but DESPITE what i think about us or what we think about each other we are - and most likely will always be- INSECURE.
for instance i am interested in this boy (i guess he's more of a man seeing as he is my age) and no matter how much i like him or how good for me i think that he really is i will NEVER pursue him. and i can say that it is because i don't want a BOYFRIEND and/or i already know the OUTCOME but the at the end of the day it is SOLELY because i am INSECURE far more than i would like to admit. i refuse tell him in spite of my desire because
1. i dont want to be REJECTED
2. what if he just DOESN'T like my PERSONALITY
3. there are a BILLION other girls that are PRETTIER than me and he can easily have them
4. what if he has an EX that he is still IN LOVE with and i CANT live up to her legacy
5. what if he is TALKING to another girl at the same time and CHOSES her?
(and i mean why wouldnt he chose her im sure she PRETTY too, and has an AWESOME personality, and they probably get along a lot BETTER. she probably DOESN'T COMPLAIN half as much as i do, she might even DRESS better, and have MORE to talk about than i do)
the thing that BOTHERS me the most is that right at this very moment he is probably SLEEPING not giving 2shits about the situation and i am here blogging about it STRESSING over it! it bothers me that no matter how PRETTY i think i am it will ALWAYS boil down to what HE thinks of ME....
it is never THEM that are in the WRONG it is always me. i am constantly ANALYZING myself wondering what did i do WRONG, what did i SAY that he didn't like, what was i WEARING that wasn't flattering,
never maybe he is just an ASSHOLE....
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